Monday, August 15, 2005

This is for you Fay(e)

Let's start here with an incomplete list:

John August, Craig Mazin, Ted Elliot, John Rogers, tv writers I've never heard of, Kevin Smith, Roger Avary, Tim Minear, some Canadians, Lee Goldberg, Ted Elliot again, those podcasting guys, that dude who was in film school but moved away...

As you can see, the world needs another screenwriter blog like the world needs another Michael Bay.

Not that we need the first Michael Bay, but fuck, he's here in all his terrible glory, raining shit down upon us in a gauzy undercranked nightmare starring Peter Horton as Michael Bay and (choose your Affleck) as the collective yours truly.

(My first script I ever had optioned was to Propaganda Films some years ago and they put me in a utility closet to do the rewrite. That closet opened to the cubicle of Michael Bay's assistant, Fay, or Fanny, possibly Ethel but I'm fairly sure it was Fay (or Faye). I never met Michael Bay--I'm not sure he came in to the office or knew where it was. Every day Fay(e) cried as he screamed at her over the phone. She deserved it, I'm sure. Directing milk is hard work.)

So Bay's here and we're here and he's a dark lord but we're sort of a guerrilla resistance holding out for regime change. On good days I imagine all these blogs are the secret dojos of the rebels as they gird for war. Scripts are ninjas we train from childhood and send out under the cover of night (or CAA) praying they've learned their lessons well and deadly. On bad days I wonder if Doyle Brunson was right when he said he forever regretted writing Super/System and teaching every valet on the strip how to play poker.

On that final point I am comforted by a number of factors: a) there are no writing "secrets" b) if I'm wrong and there are secrets I don't know them and c) if there were and I did I wouldn't tell...because while there is enough money to go around there is never enough praise and although I don't care if you get a job instead of me I hate the idea of you doing it better than I would.

Time out for a libel disclaimer: I cannot with any certainty be sure the Michael Bay who directed milk commercials for Propaganda in the 90s is the same "Michael Bay" who would call Michael Bay's assistant Fay(e) and make her cry. Neither can I assert for sure that Michael Bay is a dark lord.

So Bay's here and we're here and if this is his Hollywood then it might as well be our Hollywood. The screenwriting blogworld grows day by day and may soon include more blogs than writers. In all honesty I don't know for sure what this blog will bring--ask me whatever you want about my experiences in Hollywood, my movies, thoughts on writing, etc. I'll answer to the best of my abilities. I'm not much of a webmaster and there probably won't be a ton of what net experts like to call "links".

This is for you Fay(e).

14 Comments:

Blogger Luben said...

Cool... I was wondering if you could write something about your experience on the "Black Dahlia"? Because it must be pretty awesome to work with De Palma.

As you can imagine, I am looking forward to "The Black Dahlia" movie. BTW, wasn't this one initially a Fincher project?

Luben

8/16/2005 4:57 AM  
Blogger josh said...

luben--
Thanks for being the first commenter on the blog...My Black Dahlia experience is a long and winding road (still being traveled) and I plan a big post (or two or three)...

Stay tuned...

8/16/2005 10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

welcome to the blogosphere...saw your post on artful writer. I too am curious about working with De Palma, and would also like to hear about the abritration process on WOTW...I remember seeing Koepp's name in all posters and ads right up until the very end, when yours did...expatiate, kind sir.

8/16/2005 1:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey man --

wow. thanks for the in-depth look. looking forward to part 2 as well...

8/16/2005 8:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Josh. Glad you're here. Love your voice - that was incredibly fun to read.

Relesh in the praise of a stranger my friend.

Oh, and, here's an idea. What if you linked to drafts of things you'd written. Kind of like John August does. Might be helpful to read WOTW or something.

8/17/2005 12:37 PM  
Blogger josh said...

John--
Have I written anything controversial yet?

8/17/2005 2:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Welcome to the blogosphere! I look forward to reading about your experiences.

8/17/2005 4:29 PM  
Blogger josh said...

Just in case anyone is curious..."KYLE" (and that is his real name) was my assistant for three years. He did little but fuck off, work on his own scripts, and lose the numbers of anyone who called for me.

It should be no surprise that Kyle is now a working Hollywood screenwriter.

8/17/2005 4:35 PM  
Blogger Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter) said...

Congrats on the blog.

I just started mine up last week (or restarted for the....... 4th time, ahem).

I don't know if I'm any good at writing, but reading writers blogs is keeping my mind in screenwriting mode. That can't be a bad thing.

C

8/17/2005 11:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Josh!

Welcome!

Big fan, love your work! I keep a copy of your draft of Ota Benga on my shelf, I take it out and read it every once in a while for inspiration. I HAVE to see that movie some day--hope somehow it can be your draft. Christine Vachon has the book under option right now.

Love the blog--I'll be checking in every day.

Ben
LA

8/18/2005 1:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe Bay's assistant was indeed Fay or Faye. I, too, was christened in the dank waters of Propaganda, back when they were turning movies into two-hour music videos with their stable of commercial and tv directors, like Dom Sena, Antoine Fuqua, Alex Proyas (who doesn't count as a despoiler of movies because he fucking rocks, yeah!), Fincher, Mark Romanek, some other guys. Jesus, Spike Jones was lurking about there back then, too, being cool.

I most likely dinged your car door in the parking lot. I was young and reckless then.

Great blog. Keep it up.

8/19/2005 10:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for taking the time to do this blog. I love hearing all the behind-the-scenes stuff about what it's like to be a writer in Hollywood. I look forward to reading anything you care to share in the future.

8/22/2005 8:38 AM  
Blogger notarysojack said...

She was so like all us writers when we first hit Hollywood--itching with ambition, panting to get your names up there: Screenplay by. Original story by. Hmph! Audiences don't know somebody sits down and writes a picture. They think the actors make it up as they go along.

"Sunset Boulevard" July 19, 1949

8/22/2005 9:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Zinde masaj terliği mucizeler yaratıyor. Son dakika haber sitesine göre bu terlik bir çok ağrıya son verdiği gibi, kişileri masaj yaparak rahatlatıyor da.

9/02/2013 8:53 AM  

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